The Blog

What would I have been had I stayed in Bedford?

What would I have been had I stayed at VFCC?

What would I have been had I stayed at Greensburg?

What would I have been had I stayed in London?

What wouldl I become if I stay in Pittsburgh?

What would I become if I stayed in Singapore?

What would I become if I stayed in _________?

What would I become if I only ever stayed in one place?


Thinking about the space that a person occupies. I once did a report on space and the effect it has on a person. I am currently reading an excert from a book called The Sacred and the Profane in which the author, Eliade, discusses sacred spaces. Sacred space must have a center that is either revealed by the god or provoked of the god. These centers create the world of the believer, making space sacred...all that falls without is profane/evil/unknown. One religion carries the 'center' with them in the form of a holy stick so that all that they come across is within the sacred space. Once when the holy stick was destroyed the group was sent into utter chaos and so all lay down to die.

Suprisingly, lately I have found myself thinking back to VFCC quite a bit. Sometimes I almost feel as though I miss the protection I felt there. I felt confident there in my beliefs, my work, my friends. I experienced no opposition to what I believed, what work I did, or with who my friends were. But the more I have thought about it I realize that I was stagnant while I was there. Since leaving I have had my fair share of conflict and hard times, but I have become stronger. I have developed a love of life that I did not have there. I have seen the remarkable complexity of humanity, religion, and emotions...all this challenging me and forcing me to become something. I went to a glass workshop the other day...
The glass has to be taken directly out of the fire, when it is the consistency of honey, to shape it into anything. You could not directly touch the glass to shape it into anything, you had to use something other than yourself to shape it. It was scary for me because I was always afraid I was somehow going to burn myself. After I had done it though I realized that I would take the chance/the fear of burning myself again to be able to continue to work with glass and to continue to be able to shape it into something. I think life is a little bit like that for me...sometimes the place that I am and the things that I am doing/studying make me afraid that I will do something wrong or get hurt, but in the end I see that the thing that I am doing is worth the risk. You have to risk the fire in order to have something beautiful. I am not sure my thoughts could come out anymore corney than that. I am tired and thoughtful. I am reflective.