The Blog

Home for the Thanksgiving break. Thanksgiving. Giving thanks. I suppose we spend our Thanksgivings doing very little of giving thanks. Perhaps it should be Complaintsgiving because that is our tendency as humans. One day a year when we can openly say everything about those closest to us that bothers us. Of course we do this only with the person's improvement in mind and in hopes of improving ourselves. Are you laughing yet? Yeah, that's right. We very rarely voice a complaint in hopes that the other will in some way better themselves. It is usually a selfish motive-a chance to make ourselves look better. A five year olds chance to say, "na na na na, i'm better than you are, i run faster than you are, mom likes me better than you." What if instead of voicing a complaint we look at the situation in terms of our actions. Did our action cause a kind of reaction that brought about reason for the complaint. Sounds silly I suppose. I am sure though someone told Einstein that E=MC squared sounded silly. Now we have Einstein's Bagels. Why? Why bagels? Is it something about the circular shape...a bagel that transcends the speed of light? Humm...

Tonight I sat on a couch with three of my best friends. I was thinking about the fact that for the last three, maybe four, years I have braced myself for the harsh reality that we may fall apart. As I sat on that couch entirely comfortable enough to let whoever I happen to be exist I realized that I was living in a small moment of what life is really about. It is about the moments when we are comfortable enough to be fully alive. To let our bodies function in whatever manner they want, embarrasing or not...to laugh at the horriblest jokes in the world that help us to recall some interesting memory...to talk about life and it's possibilities and to listen (actually listen just not go uh huh..uh huh..oh!) to other's ideas. To lose your awareness of being alive that can sometimes hinder you and just to live. I may not have a million friends, but I know the friends I have well enough they are worth a million friends to me. Our lives keep changing, everyone keeps going to these insane places and experiencing such strange things, but somehow we always find ourselves around some table together, sitting on someone's couch. These are the moments I am thankful for.

Gushy enough for you? I am teaching myself to live to the fullest and relearning what real love is. It's gushy stuff people...gushy stuff.